JESY NELSON IS MORE THAN JUST A MEMBER OF LITTLE MIX….
5th May 2021
Jesy Nelson has left me thinking about why we sometimes, well most of the time stay in a situation, relationship, job way too long.
For so long, I worried about others and letting people down. The only person I should have been trying to make happy was myself, and I wasn’t doing that. I needed to do it for my mental health, because I know I would have ended up back where I was five years ago, and that’s scary.
We know somewhere in our hearts it doesn’t feel good anymore and sometimes makes you feel super crappy and sad in Jesy’s case. I have been chatting to my friends about it and they are divided. I think age, upbringing and money seems to be a few of the reasons. I keep hearing, ‘I have done this for 10 years now there is nothing else I’m qualified to do. ‘I don’t have a degree, so the jobs I want I’m not qualified for. ‘I don’t have time to study, learn and do a job. ‘I need to pay my bills, I have to suck it up and make the best of a bad situation.
When it comes to toxic relationships or just ones that are not happy anymore ..I hear things like ‘I have been with her forever, I don’t want to throw away all these years, ‘I don’t want to be alone. ‘I can’t date again, it’s so longggg. While situations that you struggle with I hear. ‘things aren’t always going to be perfect; you have to just learn to live with the things you hate and can’t change., blah blah blah!
These lists as author/entrepreneur Marie Forkeo would say might be warranted but also are excuses?? Maybe, you are scared? What if I make things worse? What if I don’t find love again? How will I pay my bills??
I feel like there have been a few people who don’t understand why I left Little Mix, but am now in the studio making music. A lot of people said,“I thought you came out of the band to focus on your mental health?” I never said when I put out my statement that I was coming out of the band to never be in the public eye or perform again, or do music. I said I was coming out of the band because I genuinely couldn’t deal with the pressure of being in a girl band.For people to think that I would just stop working completely is crazy, because[for] me, working on my mental health is going to the studio, and creating music that I love. That’s what clears my head and makes me happy. It’s good for my mental health. I couldn’t deal with the pressure of being in the girl group. It wasn’t that I couldn’t deal with the pressure of being in the spotlight. I was constantly compared to three other girls and
that mentally drove me to a really dark place, and I couldn’t put myself through that any more.I need to do things that make me happy now, and people might think that’s selfish, but sometimes in life you have to put yourself first, you have to love yourself, and do what makes you happy.
Now I’m on my own, I can genuinely wear what I want to wear. Before, I was wearing what I thoughtI should wear, because I was too frightened to wear certain things incase I looked bigger than the others. I’d wear corsets and shit like that to make myself look the size they were. Now, I’m not looking at the screen thinking, “Oh my god, I don’t look as good as them.” I feel free.I didn’t know that I could be this happy. I thought when I was in the group that it was just normal to feel that way. And because I’d felt like that for 10 years, I just thought, “This is life.” Since I’ve left, I feel free. I don’t wakeup with anxiety, thinking, “I’ve got to do a music video today, I need to starve myself.” Or, “I need to go on an extreme diet so I can look like the other three.” That was consuming me.I constantly compared myself to the others. Of course, a lot of that was in my head, but a lot of it was past trauma. Even recently, I was still getting compared to them. It’s horrible when you already don’t like something about yourself to then have thousands of people point it out. Now I feel like me. When I look back [at my time] in theband, I genuinely wasn’t me. I can’t believe how miserable I was.
Now it’s your turn!
WHAT TO EXPECT FROM YOUR LOCAL CINEMA IN MAY WHEN THEY RE-OPEN!
IN THE HEIGHTS A MOVIE PACKED WITH MUSIC, HEART & SO MANY TALENTED PEOPLE!
